Fantasy Football Agent

Fantasy Football Agent, gives you the chance to test your skills of player popularity. Fill your portfolio with stars - the more headlines they make the more points you get. Remember there's no such thing as bad publicity. You're just two simple steps away...

You can even start your own mini-league and show all your mates up.

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Fantasy Football Agent

Drogba and Crouch's reign of terror continues thanks to the media's rubbing of its eyes in disbelief at the pair�s exploits this week.

The rest of the best are made up of the usual suspects with the exception of Robbie Keane and his amazing adventures against Prague and Obefemi Martins whose brace for the Toon has led to the inevitable cliches about "repaying transfer fees ya-de-ya"

Witness also the return of Carlos Tevez to the upper reaches of the table. The Argentine continues to make a big splash despite �not actually making a big splash for West Ham who were knocked out by a very good Palermo side.

Anyhoo as my more than able replacement Sp3ktor alluded to yesterday, Septembers competition come to an end tomorrow and Champion Elect quizking is already preparing his open top bus ride. Will anyone catch him? Well no frankly.

It's Funds Day Friday today so as soon as you�re finished reading this you'd best go check your prices. The Blog will return on Monday hailing this month champion and casting an eye over the early runners for October.

Have a great weekend.

Duffman Friday 29 September, 10:29am

Fantasy Football Agent

Didier Drogba probably didn't reckon on becoming the new Eidur Gudjohnsen when he joined Chelsea, but his performances this season has seen him their most consistant player.

The Ivorian was just pipped into second on the overnights by Peter Crouch unlikely acrobatic performance against Galatasary. The Champs League providing good point returns even at this early stage.

Newcastle players always seem to score well too so a good performance from them tonight could yield instant results if you have them in your portfolio.

Still 3 days to go before the start of the new month but it's going to take a minor miracle to dislodge quizking from his lofty perch.

For the sake of good competition here's hoping someone can pull back on the early season runaway - if only so we can hear a Kevin Keegan "I'd love it" style rant.

The values update tomorrow so be ready to rejig and renegotiate if necessary.

Sp3ktor Thursday 28 September, 4:23pm

Fantasy Football Agent

Its rare that one gets the opportunity to cry "Zut Alors!" at the beginning of a blog but for me, opportunity knocks:

"Zut Alors!" France's Euro 2008 winning strike partnership of Thierry Henry and Louis Saha are top today on 10 points because of their goal a piece in the Chumps League last night.

Other high scorers were Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney who have been off the pace recently. So too has Ashley Cole who is back near the top of the overnight table thanks, in no small part, to his agent John Sullivan getting struck off following the tapping up scandal. Tsk Tsk.

Best Value is Kevin Nolan at �75 as the demand for an England call up mounts up. Also, look out for Alan Smith. He came off the bench yesterday and will be certain to feature again on Saturday. Cue the usual fawning newspaper features on the bravery, resolution and ultimate triumph. Plus points in the bag for me... thats the plan anyway.

Duffman Wednesday 27 September, 9:13am

Fantasy Football Agent

Ladies and Gentlemen, FFA Promotions in association with Newcastle United Football Club present for your diversion the comedy styling of The Great Titus. Marvel at his lack of positional awareness, laugh at his last ditch desperate lunges and pity him as he stares up at his red card and ponders what future lays ahead of him.

Bramble shares joint spot on our overnight table with the considerably less hapless Shola Ameobi who, with the ball at his feet and just before scoring his goal against Everton yesterday from a blatant off side position actually looked to his left to check the linesman's flag was still down in a way that reminded me of those Green Cross Road adverts of my youth. I imagined Dave Prowse bedecked in a shiny Green Cross Man outpit looking on with approval.

Best value is third placed Mikel Arteta at �75. FFA also notes the welcome return to action of Fulham's Papa Bouba Diop. I think we all know why.

We are coming to the end of our first full month of competition and quizking is in line to take September's crown failing a late surge from the likes of Wardonkey, coolcallum71, drebin and Jamesy. Just one week of wheeler dealing to go. Who wins? They decide.

Duffman Monday 25 September, 12:41pm

Fantasy Football Agent

No sooner do I bemoan the absence of any off ball chinnings then up steps Craig Bellamy whose post match tunnel spat with Newcastle coach and professional scouser Terry Mcdermott doesn�t qualify but will suffice given all the sleaze we�ve had to endure this week.

Bellamy is joint top with Xabi Alonso whose 1270 yard screamer from two nights ago is still paying dividends for his agents two days after it happened. Best value? Stephen Carr and Patrice Evra: 3 points for �50. It has been a slow week hasn't it?

It�s Funds Day Friday today so check your prices and if you have any spare readies consult your crystal ball for hot properties next week. Meantime, enjoy the weekend. I�ll see you Monday but remember the scores update daily so please come and visit us over the next 48.

Duffman Friday 22 September, 11:29am

Fantasy Football Agent

Please accept our apologies for the absence of the Blog yesterday. We here in the FFA bunker were up to our necks in it with calls from the media world in the wake of BBC Panorama's frankly less then revelatory documentary on bungs in football. We kept trying to tell them that we only ran an online game and couldn't possibly comment but they insisted we take their money.

Xabi Alonso is our top man this morning. Deservedly so following his 570 yard screamer that would have had David Beckham harrumphing into his beer. Dirk Kuyt is close behind as a result of his first goal for Liverpool.

Best value is the "tough bastard" Andy Todd who may, or may not, have been tapped up in the afore-mentioned documentary. Yours for �50. Get in there now before his price goes up.

Apart from that it's been a pretty low scoring affair. Everyone is no doubt all a twitter about Big Scam. Let�s hope that we start focussing on the important things in football. Like off the ball chinnings and three in a bed sex romps.

Duffman Thursday 21 September, 9:14am

Fantasy Football Agent

Ballacks really sorry. He got sent off last Sunday and now he's going to get banned. That mean he'll have to sit in the stands, or worse, stay at the home he can't afford on his �130,000 a week salary while all his mates play football. He's really sorry.

So is Shay Given. He's ruptured his spleen and it's really painfull. He's going to be out for weeks and he never misses a game.

Didier Drogba's sorry too. On Sunday he walked off the pitch at Stamford Bridge to the sound of the Chelsea faithfull chanting his name. Last night the Great Zigga Zagga, God of Football visited him and said "You see Didi. If you play with skill passion and virtue, the fans will love you."

"Perhaps you are right O Lord." replied the Ivorian collosus. "But how many points will I score on Fantasy Football Agent if I do? After all, I'm currently in second place behind the guy who stamped on his brothers leg and level on points with a guy who�s done his belly in. They both get time off and I still have to go into work. Where is the justice in that O Great One?"

"Hmm" said the mighty Zigga Zagga "you have given me much to ponder young one. Now if you'll excuse me, it's Transfer Tuesday and I must give Wayne Rooney a pay cut. He has displeased me."

TRANSFER TUESDAY: PLAYER IN - Emmanuel Adebayor. PLAYER OUT - Danny Mills.

Duffman Tuesday 19 September, 1:24pm

Fantasy Football Agent

Today�s top two overnight highest scorers provide us with a perfect example of what Fantasy Football Agent is all about. Yesterday Didier Drogba�s turn and half volley totally bamboozled England defender Jamie Carragher and Spain goalkeeper Pepe Reiner and produced a goal worthy of winning any heavy-weight football clash.

So you�d think, after witnessing that goal-scoring master class, the assembled football media would be all a twitter about it and Drogba would be top of our overnight rankings. Well no actually because as breathtaking a shot as it was, nothing beats a good old stamping and sending off. And when the stamper is international super-star Michael Ballack, well there�s no contest is there? The former Bayern man sits atop our table on 11 points. What�s more he�s really sorry about it� the stamp that is.

Best value today is Joey Barton. City�s hot-headed midfielder scored a goal yesterday and 6 FFA points. He�s yours for a mere �50. Given his penchant for off the field shenanigans he may represent a good long term investment. Andre Ooijer and Morten Gamst Petersen scored and cost the same as Barton but I�m not sure they would enjoy high notoriety. Unless Petersen joins an Aha tribute band in which case get in there now before his price goes through the roof!

Duffman Monday 18 September, 10:47am

Fantasy Football Agent

We here in FFA towers enjoy a lot of fuss over nothing. In fact, fuss over pretty much anything is good for business. That�s why the less than spectacular first starts for West Ham by the Argentine duo still ends up to nine and seven points for Tevez and Mascherano respectively.

Other top scorers are those heroes of the BATTLE OF BRITAIN Giggs, Saha and Solskjaer. Other notables are Benni McCarthy and Antoine Sibierski. Best value is Danny Mill flying in with a two footed five points.

It�s Funds Day Friday today. Our master computer Zen informs me the Cashley Cole is now our most expensive player at �325 knocking off Wayne Rooney who has dropped down to a mere �300. Don't forget check your prices and if necessary, show them the money.

A big weekend of Premiership action awaits us. Chelsea v Liverpool and Manchester v Arsenal should prove to be very tasty or very tedious. Either way remember, our scores are updated over the weekend as well as weekdays so do come back and see how you�re doing.

Have a great weekend.

Duffman Friday 15 September, 11:30am

Fantasy Football Agent

Seems my Rooney chaos theory from yesterday proved to be a damp squib. Eight points? He gets that for blowing his nose and then writing about it. Oh well, I suppose his somewhat muted return to action was overshadowed by other events on the pitch during THE CLASH OF THE TITANS or is that THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN or perhaps MANCHES... sorry Manchester United v Celtic.

The top six scorers overnight were Reds. Two goal hero Louis Saha and er one goal hero Ole Gunnar Solskjaer are joint top followed by injury hit Ryan Giggs and so on.

Elsewhere, Michael Essian continues to score well for his money. The two boys from West Ham are creeping back up the table in anticipation of a start against Palermo tonight. Spurs are also in UEFA cup action so expect a good showing from their top players tomorrow if they win, and an even better showing if they lose.

Duffman Thursday 14 September, 10:57am

Fantasy Football Agent

There is always a degree of background noise around Michael Ballack. He's a popular guy in the media one way or another. So when he actually does something vaguely interesting (like score from a penalty in the Champions League) the noise level cranks up a notch or three. With ten points then, Michael Ballack is top of our overnight table.

Just behind him are his Chelsea team mates Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and last night's other scorer Michael Essien on nine points. Essien costs only seventy five pounds which is surprising I guess and good value too.

Scott Parker continues to score well for his fifty pounds. Possibly as a result of the Jimmy Bullard injury who, you will note is not on our list. When we compiled the list at the beginning of the season we did not deem him sufficiently news-worthy. We thought of adding him yesterday but figured once the initial interest died down it wouldn't be worth it. Oh well, you can't win them all.

Anyhoo, Man United are on the tele tonight and guess who is returning from suspension? Thats it, English football's very own bull-in-the-china-shop Wayne Rooney is back. What mayhem will he cause tonight? Find out tomorrow.

Duffman Wednesday 13 September, 1:27pm

Fantasy Football Agent

There�s a kind of hush all over the game this morning. The Chumps League kicks off tonight and it�s as if the football media are drawing their collective breaths before letting out an almighty belch of post match bilge. So, we can look forward to some more action tomorrow.

I was in the pub with the game�s designer yesterday watching Reading play Man City. Upon seeing the red card shown to Ousmane Dabo he let out a mild whoop. "Yes!" he exclaimed "He's in my team". This caused a few raised eyebrows around the bar from people no doubt wondering what sort of game has people celebrating when one of their players gets sent off. Anyway, it was too late for the overnights but Agents of the City midfielder may be rewarded for their �25 investment over the next 24-48 hours.

Best value today has to be Scott Parker on six points. The Newcastle skipper scored on Saturday and was involved in the case of the missing knee which Onion Bag readers will be following in our web pages. Nice to see Andrew Johnson scoring well too.

Duffman Tuesday 12 September, 9:23am

Fantasy Football Agent

A question for you: When the ball hits the goal is it Tevez or Cole? No, its Zamora. And at �75 the Premier League 's top scorer is putting more illustrious strikers to shame. Only his Argentine club mate Carlos Tevez scored more points yesterday.

Another heavy scoring seventy five pounder is Everton's Tim Cahill after his exploits in the Mersey Derby. Andrew Johnson bagged two goals in that game but only scored two points over night. I think Cahill's international presence is higher than Johnson's which would account for his continued higher performance.

Brad Friedal's penalty heroics has raked in a few points for him and I also note that Everton's Lee Carsley was worth three last night and nine in the last week. A good deal at �25. If Everton continue to win matches their players stock will rise accordingly. Other high scorers at bargain prices are Tim Howard, Juan Pablo Angel and Gary Speed.

Duffman Monday 11 September, 12:28pm

Fantasy Football Agent

If you have Wayne Rooney on your books you are about to strike gold. It seems that England�s most volatile got into a fight in a restaurant last night with Blackburn�s Michael Gray. That news is breaking this morning so expect Rooney to be top of the pile in the morning. There is just no keeping that boy out of the headlines is there?

Meanwhile, it seems that our revered fourth estate seems to be having trouble getting their heads round Peter Crouch. His excellent goal scoring record has some hacks proclaiming him as the man to break Bobby Charlton�s England goal-scoring record while others think he is just a flat track bully and will never take his place among the pantheon of great strikers. Either way, the subsequent noise puts him top of the table.

Best value is Christian Dailly again for who is scoring well for �75. No doubt a residue from his goal against Lithuania.

It's Funds Day Friday today so be sure to check if your players value has gone up or down. With the internationals out of the way for the time being we can look forward of Premiership nonsense. Enjoy the weekend.

Duffman Friday 8 September, 10:52am

Fantasy Football Agent

The Tevez - Mascherano bandwagon continues to roll down the mountain of total uncertainty that is West Ham United FC. Is this the beginning of a takeover of the East End club or will they have to start charging for storage?

Bursting onto the scene with a colossal pong is William Gallas courtesy of some frankly undignified uttering�s from his ex-employees at Stamford Bridge. Ten points for the French defender plus eight for Ashley Cole whose name was mentioned in the same despatches.

Meanwhile, England's clash with Macedonia is receiving the usual guff. Yesterday it was "Isn't Steven Gerrard great" and "How to cope with post communist racism." Tomorrow the news might be about the game.

Best value is Chris Kirkland at �75 for six points overnight. It seems that England's reserve keeper is injured again. Sciatica this time. Apparently playing football is bad for his back. I bet his careers advisor's face is red.

Duffman Wednesday 6 September, 1:23pm

Fantasy Football Agent

A warm welcome is extended for Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano to Fantasy Football Agent. Nice to see some Argentines topping a UK based popularity contest for a change.

The rest of the top table is made up of Englanders preparing themselves for the big push against the Macedonian tomorrow night. Only Thierry Henry stands amongst them for the glory of France.

Best value is Christian Dailly at �50 possibly for being Scottish or possibly for saying nice things about Tevez. Three points hardly represents a deluge and won't have agents frantically reaching for the ACQUIRE button.

Tomorrow is bound to be concerned with Gallas and his high comedy spat with Chelsea FC. The Blues just can't bear to be out of the headlines can they? Still, there no such thing as bad publicity I suppose.

Duffman Tuesday 5 September, 1:12pm

Fantasy Football Agent

Over-whelmed with speculation over dodgy dealings and pointless qualifiers against no-hopers the press seem to be concentrating on issues rather than individuals.

Still, the goalscorers from England's match against Andorra sit happily at the top of the table today.

Tomorrow sees the addition of West Ham's latest acquisitions. These two should dominate proceedings for a good while so you might want to have a look at your roster and see where they can slip in.

This week should prove a little less frenetic than last as another uninspiring Euro qualifier against Macedonia will ensure that Crouch, Gerrard and Terry continue to rake in the points while everyone else slips off the radar. Come Friday when the values are re-jigged you might be able to pick up a few non-international bargains.

Sp3ktor Monday 4 September, 1:56pm

Fantasy Football Agent

DEADLINE DAY SPECIAL

Having spent most of yesterday afternoon watching Sky Sports News presenter Di Stewart getting all hot and bothered about the transfer deadline day, we here at FFA Towers are in need of a pleasant day trip to the coast with a flask full of tea and an improving book. Instead we must settle for a plastic cup of rancid coffee from the staff canteen and a copy of yesterday�s Current Bun. For you see the action never stops in Fantasy Football Agent.

Not a single player cracked double figures last night. I guess with the spread of player comings and goings the combined press found it difficult to focus on one man. However, we have seen the end of some particularly tedious transfer sagas in Ashley Cole and Jose Antonio Reyes. Best value goes to Graham Kavanagh. Who�d have thought a Wigan player moving to Sunderland would garner such interest. This is not the land I was born in. Jason Euell�s 5 points for a measly �50 should also have the odd agent clenching his/her fist in vindication. It�ll never last though

News broke this morning that should have Wayne Rooney�s agents cock-a-hoop and will put his value up even more next Friday. It seems ex-boss David Moyes took exception to some of the nasty things the Man United striker said about him in his autobiography. This is precisely the sort of thing that FFA was set up for. Let us hope it goes all the way to court.

That�s it for the weekend. Don�t forget that scores are updated daily so why not check back tomorrow and see how your players got on. We�re off to make a Carlos T�vez and Javier Mascherano sized hole to fit West Ham�s latest �signings� in for next week.

Duffman Friday 1 September, 11:52am